Love once more has come to ME

My loneliness has come to its end and I am so thankful. My former sister in law and her boyfriend introduced me to his cousin. WOW!!! How can I possibly have been blessed to meet such a wonderful man? What could I have possibly done in my life to have been blessed like this?

I always wondered how I could have been honored to be with JNC, and now I am going a bit crazy thinking how I could possibly be love lucky again. What could I have possibly done to deserve love like “this” a second time in my life? I truly did search for it and never thought I would get it so wonderful again.

I wonder if it is because before I met JNC or RMFII I had such unhappy relationships and somehow I have redeemed myself and am now getting what I have always wanted and couldn’t receive it until I lived a better God fearing life, like now.

RMFII is absolutely wonderful! Like we were destined to meet no matter what. It’s as if the stars joined us together for the meeting and it was spontaneous in its beginnings.

As you all know my life tipped itself upside down a few months ago with the death of my beloved JNC. Cancer took him and I was so lonely hurt and angry and just not me. I started going out, away from home, just to escape the loneliness and be with people, any crowd was for me.

I was anticipating going to the old homestead, pick up my daughter and go to Rhode Island to go to my nephews wedding and then return to Albany and make my daughters wedding cake and after the wedding, bring my other former sister in law to my home for some R&R for her….and company for me. I was going to leave here the 27 and just go get my daughter and go to RI and that was it. (Gary Allan gave a free concert that I really wanted to go to…..but then I thought about it…I really didn’t need to go to that.) Something kept telling me to go earlier; there was urgency to the demand to go early. So I gave in to “fate” and went a few days ahead of my planned schedule, decided that I would go and enjoy friends and family.

Since I had been chatting with a few men online at cupid.com, I had the opportunity to meet a gentleman that I had corresponded with for coffee Monday evening when I got to town. Nice guy, but not for me.

I then made plans with my former sister in law and her boyfriend to visit and have dinner at their house for Wednesday afternoon. When I got there, I told them about the “coffee” date with what’s his name, and they were thinking out loud, I think, and mentioned his cousin who is also alone. I perked right up and wanted to know all about him. He called his cousin and told him a bit about me and he decided to come after he got out of work. THANK MY LUCKY STARS!!!!

He is so wonderful!!! I can not describe what it is like to be so fortunate to have met such a wonderful man! I am just so thankful and honored to have met a man that truly makes the days worth living again.

I want to try to explain something that may be a bit hard for some of you to understand…….a lot of times you meet people who are in love. They do what ever they can for the other person in their lives, everything for them, no matter what. Love is understood and welcomed and cherished. When you lose that special someone to death, for what ever reason, there is SUCH a void in your heart, such heartache, and you will want the LOVE again. I compare it to an addiction. I knew what love was once……only once did I truly love a man and he love me. I was starving for THAT again!!!

We all go through the motions of saying “I Love You”, but does anyone really love? When you break up with your lover or partner, don’t you long for them and wish for SOMEONE, ANYONE to come into your life and take interest in you again, someone to care about, and someone to do things with? Well that was my addiction; I wanted all that and more when JNC died. I grieved so hard and it seems like for so long. Not sleeping, not eating, constantly on the go so I would not be idol and think about what was missing from my life. I missed JNC, I missed my life, I missed ME most of all. Above all, JNC was so worried about me, he didn’t worry about himself and he was so prepared to leave this life and go onto the next phase of his journey to the Promised Land. He wanted me to be happy and he even stated that many times…..

“You will know what to do” as written by JNC in a letter before his surgery in January, along with other things that were written on the morn of his surgery which he felt he would not wake up from. That letter will be framed and hung with honor.

I am proud and pleased to tell all of you that I have found the end to my emptiness. I am whole once again; ready to give RMFII all my love and then some. It is so hard to describe the next chapter in my “NEW” life because it is all fresh, exciting and honest. We are old enough to not play any games and utmost and forthright we will be 100% honest with each other. We have already discussed everything about our past loves, our loved ones losses and nothing is spared, nothing is hidden and nothing ever will be.

He was just as lonely as I was and we have melded very nicely and the love that we share is pure, fresh and honest.

More Later……..